Clearing a loved one's home

Step by step

1. Take your time, and don't do it alone

Unless the home has to be empty by a set date, there's no need to rush. Short sessions of two or three hours are easier than whole days. If you can, bring someone with you, even just for company. If the home is rented, ask the landlord or council how long you have. Some will give extra time if you ask.

2. Check who can make decisions

After a death, the belongings are part of the estate. The executor named in the will (or the administrator if there's no will) is responsible for them. Citizens Advice explains that it's usually against the law to share out an estate before probate is granted. So agree with the executor before anything is sold, given away or thrown away. Keep a note of what's sold and for how much, because the money belongs to the estate. Valuable items may need valuing for probate.

After a move into care, the belongings still belong to your loved one. Involve them as much as you can: they may want to choose what goes with them. If they can no longer decide, someone with a lasting power of attorney for property and financial affairs can act for them.

3. Find the important papers first

Before you sort anything else, look for the will, bank and building society statements, pension and insurance letters, Premium Bonds, property deeds, passports, and spare keys. Check pockets, handbags, drawers and between the pages of books. People often keep cash and papers in unexpected places. Put everything in one "papers" box.

If the home will be empty, tell the home insurer. Empty homes often need different cover. Take photos of the meter readings too.

4. Stop the post and tell the right people

• Tell Us Once lets you report a death to most government organisations in one go, in England, Scotland and Wales. The registrar will give you a reference number when you register the death.
• Royal Mail redirection can send their post to the person dealing with the estate. You'll need the special circumstances form.
• The Bereavement Register is free and stops most advertising post within about six weeks.

5. Let family and friends choose first

Before anything is sold or donated, invite family and close friends to choose keepsakes. The will comes first for anything it mentions. For everything else, taking turns to choose one item at a time is a fair way to share things out. Take photos of things nobody can keep, so the memories stay even when the things go.

6. Sort room by room

Start with the easier rooms, such as the bathroom, kitchen or garage, and leave bedrooms, photos and letters until you're ready. Sort everything into five piles:

Use the free declutter list to jot down what's worth selling and roughly how much it might raise. It's saved in your browser on one device, so use "Download as spreadsheet" to share it with the rest of the family.

7. Sell the things worth selling

Most of what's in a home sells for very little, so focus on the few things that are worth the effort. That's usually furniture in good condition, jewellery and watches, tech, tools, bikes, collectables and designer items. Search eBay and tick Sold items to see what things actually sell for.

• Use the calculator to see where you'd keep the most after fees, and the guides for furniture, phones, designer bags and books, DVDs and games.
• Get valuable items valued. For jewellery, antiques, art or a collection, ask a local auction house. Many offer free valuations, and some will sell a whole house's contents for you.
• Don't say in a listing that the owner has died or the house is empty. It can attract thieves. Arrange collections when someone is there with you.
• Watch for scams. See how to spot selling scams.

Selling a loved one's belongings isn't trading, so there's usually no tax to pay. If one item sells for much more than its probate value, ask the executor or an accountant about capital gains tax.

8. Donate what's left

Clothes, books, homeware and furniture in good condition can go to charity. Many charities and hospices collect furniture for free. The where to donate guide lists where to take phones, glasses, books and bedding.

9. Clear the rest

When everything wanted has gone, you can clear what's left yourself with trips to the council recycling centre and a bulky waste collection, or pay a house clearance firm.

• Get two or three quotes, and ask what will be reused, donated or recycled rather than taken to the tip.
• Check the firm is a registered waste carrier on the Environment Agency register (in England). If your rubbish is fly-tipped, you can be fined, even if someone else dumped it.
• Charity clearance: the British Heart Foundation offers house clearances from £400, with saleable items going to its shops. Some local hospices offer a similar service.
• Do a last check of drawers, cupboards, the loft, the shed and under the beds before anyone comes.

Things that need special care

• Medicines: take them back to a pharmacy. Don't put them in the bin.
• Phones, tablets and computers: save the photos and check for important accounts before anything is wiped. Then wipe them before they're sold or donated. The phones page shows how.
• Photos, letters and diaries: there's no need to decide now. Box them up and come back to them later.
• Equipment on loan: return mobility aids, hospital beds and NHS hearing aids to the service that lent them.
• Guns or shotguns: don't move them. Contact the police, who will advise you.

Look after yourself

It's normal to feel guilty about letting things go, or to find one ordinary object unexpectedly hard. Keeping a few things that matter is enough. You don't have to keep everything to keep the memories.

If you'd like to talk to someone, Cruse Bereavement Support has a free helpline on 0808 808 1677. For help with a move into care, the Age UK Advice Line is free on 0800 678 1602, 8am to 7pm every day.